Break Free from Pornography and Sex Addiction
Don't let this RUIN the REST of YOUR LIFE. Get Help NOW!
Please, somebody help me!!! This is quite often the pleaful cry that ends up in my Inbox. But that's usually after a long and painful association with pornography, sex addiction, sex aversion, or masturbation.|
I often ask someone to reflect back on why this happened in the first place. The reason this is valuable is because the original issue that started the ball rolling (or the mouse clicking) isn't solved. It's still there, in the background, driving the addiction and keeping it going. Sometimes it will be revealed that porn, or sex, is being used to escape from the emptiness and loneliness and social anxiety being experienced by an individual. In the early days, this is quite controllable and protected by a certain amount of willpower, meaning that the tranquilizing effect of the porn, sex or masturbation, will last for some time and be easy to switch on and off.
But the brain is quick to learn that this activity is a quick fix and being driven by neurochemicals, the brain is not that choosy how it gets its fix. And so, over time, the experience dulls and is no longer satisfying enough. The times between porn use and masturbation become shorter and shorter, while the stimulus required gets ever more graphic. Pretty soon every waking moment revolves around porn use, sexual activity, and subsequently covering up your tracks, in case anybody finds out what you're doing.
What starts out as a temporary solution to an anxiety problem, becomes the problem.
But you see, it's worse than that! It doesn't end there! Pornography and sexual addiction affects the way you view women. You end up seeing them as toys to play with, not real at all. You lose all respect for the opposite sex, and you lose respect for yourself. You can probably survive like that for some time. It becomes easier and easier to rationalize your shortcomings and make excuses for yourself. Some even manage to put that part in a dark place and ignore it. But you can't ignore what you've become. So many men tell me they feel like a 'Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde', a monster. Their partners tell me they hate having sex with him because they know he's not there; he's somewhere else in his head, and his brain is the projector, showing movies on the backs of his eyes, while he's supposed to be making love to me.
By the time I see someone for sex addiction, or porn addiction, the addiction is hurting them inside. Either they come to realize that it's out of control, or their partner has found out and they are being forced to do something, or risk losing everything. I see my job as helping someone to tranquilize the pain of their addiction and the driving force behind it, so that they then become strong enough to say, 'I've had enough of this and I am choosing to stop', AND have the tools and conviction to make it happen.
One thing I have noticed; a man who has difficulty holding on to a relationship may look at porn intermittently when on his own, or between relationships. He starts to wonder why his relationships don't last, and so we draw up a timeline. One of the things discovered from this exercise, is that relationships last for shorter and shorter periods. This, the man finds frustrating, as he begins to question more and more, what is wrong with me? In the meantime he spends longer and longer online, at porn sites, with ever stronger porn because the stimulation and satisfaction becomes less and less. It's not until he realizes that his attitude to women stinks, because he starts to see them as porn movie material or sex objects, that he begins to understand how numbed he has become to the feelings of others.
I am only giving you these examples as an idea of how I work face to face, so that you will have some idea of what to expect to find on the CD's. The idea is to give you the same tools that I use in session, so that you can do this in a self help way, in sequence, in the comfort of your own home, anonymously, and, whenever available, with the backup of your partner. Good luck! Whatever you choose, physical CD or MP3 download, if you feel you need more help afterwards, just visit the contact page for more details. All the best, Phil.
Overcoming Internet Pornography and Sex Addiction NOW!
Your chance to lose this addiction forever!
Over 2.5 hours of insight, practical advice and tools to use in the privacy of your own home.
This double CD, easy listening set, is a question and answer interview session with Philip Chave, director of research and education at The Haven Healing Centre in Cheddar, Somerset.
Here Phil gives you a detailed account of the tools you will need, and the correct way to apply them, to allow you to step back from the scourge of porn addiction, and find the peace and strength that will give you your life back.
The CD will give you the answers to the most commonly asked questions, such as:
In Conversation With Philip Chave: Understanding, Coping With & Eliminating Internet Pornography Addiction & Sex Addiction
- Why is pornography so powerful in its hold over people?
- Is pornography really that addictive?
- Is pornography a lifelong condition?
- Does marriage, or a relationship, solve a porn addiction problem?
- What does porn do to a relationship?
- How do I cope with continual failure?
- Why are more and more women experimenting with pornography?
- Are there any physical changes if I watch pornography?
- Can pornography ever be a fulfilling replacement for a relationship?
- How does a spouse know when their partner is looking at porn?
- But there is sex and temptation all around me, how am I supposed to cope with that?
- Is there a miracle cure for porn addiction?
- Is it possible to have a healthy sex life after pornography addiction?
- Why can't I just stop?
- I can't forgive myself for being so weak. Is this because I'm a loser?
- Will my partner ever trust me again?
- I've been threatened with divorce if I fail and I'm terrified. Is this normal?
- Is it okay to masturbate if I don't look at pornography?
Contact by: |
The Haven Healing Centre is located at: Draycott Rd, Cheddar, Somerset, BS27 3RU